Trauma is
not destiny

Photo: David Jacobs

My story

I am living proof that trauma does not determine who you can become.

I wasn’t destined to become a doctor. When I was a child, my uncle sexually abused me. That trauma made me feel shame, guilt, and anger. It stole my childhood and my belief in who I could be. I can’t undo what happened to me, but I did get help, and that changed everything.

I found a wonderful psychiatrist. He said I was “a pearl in an oyster”, not the dirty, ugly thing I thought I was. He is the reason I became a doctor. I wanted to help people the way he had helped me.

Today, I am a physician, author, social entrepreneur, public speaker, mother, and grandmother. I am passionate about understanding how human beings become who they become. I study how we develop, learn, and reach our potential, and how each of us can help others reach theirs.

I started learning about these things at Cornell University Medical School. I was taught how hearts, lungs, and kidneys work, but also how humans love, attach, nurture, and heal after things go wrong. Most importantly, I learned that human brains, bodies, and abilities are malleable to experience. Brain growth happens mostly after we are born. So there are multiple opportunities to catch up as we develop and learn.

I put this knowledge to work as a child psychiatrist specializing in trauma. I saw children overcome the most extraordinary obstacles and unfairnesses and discover their resilience. Then, after the 9/11 attacks, I helped lead a study assessing trauma among New York City’s schoolchildren. The greatest levels of trauma, we found, were not in schools near Ground Zero but in neighborhoods of deepest poverty.

When I visited the schools, I could see that educators had not been equipped with what I had learned at med school about trauma and the brain. They struggled to help kids under stress. This is why I founded Turnaround for Children in 2002—to translate science into tools and services for schools to become places where all children can thrive.

I wanted to prove that trauma is not destiny. I still do.

Dr. Pamela Cantor delivers a speech at the "YOU Belong in STEM" conference from a podium at the U.S. Department of Education.

YOU Belong in STEM National Coordinating Conference, December 7, 2022

Photo: Department of Education

Pamela Cantor stands in front of Cornell Medical School in 1980 wearing a white coat, white skirt, and white shoes denoting that she is a medical student.

Cornell University Medical College, 1980

Photo: Weill Cornell Medicine

Dr. Pamela Cantor listens to an elementary school student describing his math assignment at Walker-Jones Education campus in Washington, D.C.

Walker Jones Education Campus, DC Public Schools 2015

Photo: Kate Felsen

We can unlock
human potential

Science provides the roadmap.

A graphic of the physical structure of DNA, a twisting, ladder-like double helix.

Variation is the norm, not the exception

I will never forget the day in medical school when I learned this: human beings are born with 20,000 genes but over our lifetimes only 10% get expressed.

What determines what gets expressed? It’s context: the environments, relationships, and experiences of our lives. Who we become depends on the conversation between our genes— nature, and how we grow up—nurture. And no one develops along the exact same path.

Variation is the norm, not the exception. Experiences shape who we become and we can shape the experiences people have.

It makes me crazy when people talk about relationships as the “soft stuff”. Brains are electrical structures and their primary energy source is human connection. Relationships filled with trust release a hormone called oxytocin that produces feelings of trust, love, safety, and belonging.

This helpful hormone ignites the dopamine pathway, the neurotransmitter that fuels curiosity and exploration. And that is not all. Oxytocin can literally protect children, at the cellular level, from the damaging effects of stress.

This is why the effects of trauma are reversible.

Photo: Brian Hatton

Let’s get
started

We can overcome enormous stress and huge obstacles to thriving. Symptoms of stress, anxiety, trauma, or depression can disrupt our lives but they don’t determine them. We can move from illness to wellness. And it starts with relationships. Relationships filled with trust are the antidote to stress.

We can all be that person who helps someone beat the odds. Behind every story of unlikely success is a person who fueled, pushed, and supported their triumph over adversity. Just like my doctor did for me.

Resources

For Parents

For Educators

For Everyone

Collaborators

I work with and learn from educators, scientists, researchers, policymakers, academics, technologists, community leaders, conveners, Gen Zers, philanthropists, and more.

The goal? Discovering, pursuing, and reaching potential.